My kids are now the "Public School Kids" I used to judge

I sat on a blanket in my friend's yard watching my 6 year old twins run and climb with ten other children on an unseasonably warm fall day.

The other moms and I sipped coffee and started chatting.

"So, where do your older ones go to school?" I asked.

"We homeschool," she smiled.

"We do too," another mom stated, with more of a look of resignation on her tired face. It was 4pm on a Wednesday, after all.

We talked and laughed and commiserated together. A few minutes later, I realized that out of the 4-5 women present, I was the only public school mom at our play date.  I listened to their discussions about curriculum and homeschool groups and contributed to the conversation where I could.

But I felt an emotional twinge, like I was an outsider.

I inwardly laughed: Me, feeling like an outsider for being a public school mom after I spent my entire childhood and adolescence feeling like an outsider because I was home schooled.

It really was funny…and so, so ironic.

I watched my kids climb into the treehouse and play good guys and bad guys, wielding sticks and plastic swords with their friends.

Then, my smile faded as a realization struck me.

My kids are the "public school kids." 

My kids are now the kids that, as a homeschooler, I used to judge...
…the kids I thought weren't smart enough, good enough, or Christian enough.

My friends and I even whispered about "wayward" home schoolers, saying "Look at her! She's acting so...public schooled!"

It was the worst insult we could slap on a person.

Although I have long come to the realization that my prejudices as a child and teen were unwarranted and flat out wrong, it wasn't until this moment that I felt the tragedy of my own hateful judgement toward others.

What if these sweet home schooled children think my boys are "less than" because they go to public school? 

What if they think that my twins aren't smart because they aren't home schooled?

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What if they shake their heads in pity, thinking my boys can't possibly learn to love Jesus because, don't you know? God isn't allowed in public school. 

As I watched the children play, I saw no discrimination, no judging thoughts, no distinction whatsoever. Only play and fun and equality. 

It was only my own mind that was tortured by the demons of my past.

Wave after wave of guilt and shame hammered my soul as I watched the kids play so freely and so free of judgment and I thought:

Why did I think this way?! My parents never taught me to think I was better than other people. They taught us to love and serve others.  

But somehow this attitude crept in. Maybe it was that first generation homeschoolers felt like they had something to prove.
Homeschooling was new and uncharted waters, after all.
Society questioned, doubted.
So we homeschool students were taught to prove our worth, defend our education:
Our education was just as good as a public school education.
No, it could be it was even better!

Or maybe it was because I heard about the "evils" of public school at homeschool conferences in or in overheard discussions from parents.

Source

While I was growing up, comics like the one above scared me yet also created a smug sense of security and self-importance. Those pieced, spiked, belly-showing, long-haired "creatures" could not be my friends. Oh, I should love them, but from afar, at arms length, as people that should be witnessed to because if they went to public school, they obviously did not know Jesus. But I had to be careful because their bad influence might rub off on me.

I even treated the kids I interacted with at church like this. We were the only homeschooling family in our large church and, to be honest, I was really weird. I mean, I wore a pinafore with 4 inch lace frills (that I sewed myself!) to church…when I was in 8th grade.

I was low on the social totem pole.

But there were sweet, kind girls that invited me to their birthday parties and for sleepovers.

I went but I never reciprocated. I judged them in my heart because they wore knee length skirts, gushed over Justin Timberlake, and talked about (gasp) hickies! I was horrified and I judged those good Christian girls like the bow-wearing, pink-clad homeschool girl judges her public school peers in the comic above.

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My attitude toward public schooled students was like the comic above. I was the happy fish, swimming freely, while public schooled students were "locked up" in "government" classrooms, being "taught to be robots," and were basically brain-dead by the time they graduated, like poor sardines in a can, begging for help!

But it was me that was locked up in a world of prejudice and judgement, shunning people who could have been my friends and who could have opened my eyes to new thoughts and ideas. (Thank God for this awesome public-schooled boy I met in college named Aaron…)

I know that the "us vs. them" attitude of homeschooelers is not dead. I wish it was. Everything I put in quotes in the paragraph under the comic are things I have heard from people I grew up with or from current blogs I have read (usually in the comments section under a controversial homeschooling article).

But when I became a public school mom (an agonizing decision you can read about here), I learned a few amazing things.

My kids are not locked in their classrooms or shackled to their desks (imagine that).
They are not robots, nor are they being taught to be robots (I have a son who constantly reminds me that he has a mind-of-his-own on a daily basis)
They love school and are taught by wonderful teachers who love them.
And, most importantly…

People are people. Not public school kids. Not homeschool kids. Heck, not even private school kids!

No more stereotypes and judgment.

People are people who deserve to be loved and respected for who they are, not judged or discriminated against for the school they attend.

Our Summer Reading and Writing Adventure!

Today we started our great Reading and Writing Adventure! 

I wanted to keep the boys' school skills fresh this summer and in order to encourage them (hey, who am I kidding? I need to encourage ME!) to do reading and writing every day, we made this super cool chart/game today. It kinda looks like CandyLand! (right?) 

Anywho, here is how the game works. For each book we read out loud together (because I am not above bribing my kids to read with me) they get a sticker (one sticker per boy/book per day. The number of books we read is unlimited). 

For each worksheet they complete, they get a sticker too!

I made copies of this number and letter workbook we have so they can practice their writing throughout the summer. 

 Today they worked on some coloring. 

Coloring isn't their favorite thing in the world but I am just glad they actually completed the sheet! 

 And they got a sticker! 

We did some reading this afternoon so now there are 4 stickers on our chart. 

 There are 102 squares on our chart (I decided to go for a nice round number....just kidding. That's just how many squares it took to fill in my squiggly line on the poster board. 

My math major husband reminded me that 102 is not divisible by 4). 

When we get to 102, we get to go to TOYS R US to pick out a new toy! The boys can't wait. 

Really. They wanted to go today. 

I reminded them 7 times that this chart is going to take lots of hard work and patience. 

So, while we wait to get to TOYS R US, we have some Star incentives along the way. There are 11 stars (I just asked the boys where we should put the stars and we ended up with 11. Go figure).

At each star we will pick a Star Card and do something fun like "Play the Wii" or "get a slush from Sonic." Hopefully the Star Cards will keep the boys motivated this summer until we get to Square one-oh-two. 

I really have no idea how long it will take us to complete the chart. We may need to make another chart before the summer is over. (fingers crossed...maybe that is just wishful thinking...)

I am hoping that our great Summer Reading and Writing Adventure Game will keep us all motivated to keep practicing those skool skillz...

What do you do to keep your kids' academics fresh over the summer? 

Facing the Stereotypes: Our (GOOD!) Public School Experience

Scene: Walking home from dropping the boys off at school. I stopped to chat with a fellow mom.

Other mom: Hey there! Are you on Facebook?
Me: (thinking, Who isn't??? I LOVE FACEBOOK!) Yes!
OM: You should join our new group, the Perrymont Parent. It has the picture of the school as the profile pic.
Me: Awesome! I'll join.
OM: Great! By the way, we are looking for parents to write a brief note about their child's teacher, what you like about them, or whatever, to put in the school newsletter.
Me: I love my kids' teachers! I'll be sure to write a little something.

And I did. I joined the FB group and I spent 7 minutes composing a short love note for each Pre-K teacher for my twins. Because I DO love their teachers. I love their school!

I love their Public School.

And the fact that I love their Public School is a little surprising to me. Here's why:

As a former homeschool student, the prevailing thought was that all public schools were "bad."
Public school students were only "a number" in the classroom, would get lost in the crowd, and would therefore get a "bad" education.
Public school kids were a "bad" influence because of their "worldliness" and bad attitudes.
All the teachers were some combination of atheist/evolutionist/Marxist/liberal/lesbian/tree hugger and that was "very bad."

Growing up, I was deathly afraid of public school.

Fast forward 20+ years and I am much smarter, wiser, more logical, and less silly.

I also have twin boys who are school age.

Last year when I launched my blog series about Adult Homeschoolers, the drive behind the project was my overwhelming, agonizing, paralyzing decision about whether or not to homeschool or send my kids to public school (private school wasn't an option).

All those fears from my childhood were blunging my brain, making my stomach cramp, and keeping me awake at night.

So I dove into exploring my educational past, and the educational experiences of so many other homeschool students.

I talked the ears off my husband (who went to public school) and my best friend (who went to private school).

I accosted to every mom I came in contact with (friends, strangers--whatever!) who happened to mention that she had school age children and threw out that loaded question: "So, public school?....how do you like it? Have you had a good experience?"

And, amazingly(!), all of those moms who sent their kids to public school answered, "YES!"

I had to face my fears with Truth:

My husband, a product of that "bad" public school system, turned out perfectly fine. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, way better than "fine."

Through writing my homeschool series, I realized that I, as my children's parent, will still be the #1 influence in their lives.
I could still have a great relationship with my boys.
I could still teach them about God and having a relationship with Him.
I could still raise them to be respectful, grateful, loving men.

Even if I choose not to homeschool.

Even if I sent them to Public School.

So, we enrolled them in the small neighborhood Public School that is literally right across the street from us.

I nervously asked my husband, "So, what is registration?" and then filled out all the forms, crossed all the T's, dotted all the i's.

And they started school in August.

My "photogenic" twins on their first day of school

They loved it.

A few weeks later, I nervously asked my husband, "So, what is a 'parent/teacher conference'? What do I say? What do they say?" and then went to have a one-on-one with my sons' Public School teachers.

And I loved them.

They are wonderful women: kind, patient, creative, loving, and darn good educators. My children are learning so much in a loving, creative environment. My husband and I are constantly saying that each teacher is perfect for the personality and learning style of each of our sons.

During one of our parent/teacher conferences, I told one teacher that she had been an "answer to my prayers." She then shared about her relationship with the Lord. Yep, the PUBLIC school teacher.

The uncharted waters of Public School have been far from "bad." They have been good, so good for our family.

I do know that all the stereotypes that I encountered as a homeschool student were probably not completely unfounded. Many parents have had justifiably bad experiences with public school classrooms, teachers, and their child's peers.

However, stereotypes are just that: stereotypes. They are not true in every instance, or even most cases. And after our experience in the Public School system, I now take those stereotypes with a healthy grain of salt. 

As a former homeschooler, I am more than happy to shed my fears and add "Public School" to the list of viable options for my children as my husband and I continue to make conscience decisions about what is best for their education.